Theos-Talk Archives (May 1997 Message tl00279)

At 02:01 AM 5/20/97 -0400, Thoa Thi-Kim Tran wrote:
>Hi Doss,
>
>Thank you for the post on honesty.  Yes, I find that honesty takes a whole
>lot less energy and thinking than deceit.  However, I find that where there
>is fear, there is dishonesty.  For example, a person may fear being
>ridiculed, fear loss of job, fear loss of love, etc.  Dishonesty becomes
>part of the survival instinct.  Based on my experience and observations,
>it's easy to be ideal about honesty when your life is basically sane.
>However, when you are in an environment in which you are impoverished or
>abused, dishonesty is a saving factor.  For example, take a situation of a
>child who gets beaten for every single innocent act just because a parent
>could not control rage.  For that child, dishonesty about any action,
>however innocuous, is a self-defense reaction.  In this way, the child can
>present a very narrow acceptable range of behavior to the parent in order
>to avoid any punishment.  That child can grow up conditioned with the fact
>that dishonesty is a savior, and continue that behavior.  On the other
>hand, the child, as an adult, can remove him/herself from that situation,
>and can start to realize about the beauty of honesty.
>
>Anyway, let's say that although I now find honesty to be like swimming in
>clear, clean water, I also find the beauty in dishonesty.  For some,
>dishonesty may be the only way they can stay alive and sane.  Don't judge
>until you've walked a mile in another's moccasins.  The way to help another
>is, first, to help him/her get out of a bad situation, and second, once the
>person is out of the bad situation, to help him/her realize that the
>self-defense reaction need not continue.  Another sad If This Was a Perfect
>World...
>
>Thoa
>
>
Hello Thoa:

Your point is well taken.

There are two comments I want to make.

Firstly, there are always exceptions to the rule.

Secondly, at all times we should use our common sense and gut feeling when
we make decisions.

...doss