Theos-Talk Archives (January 1997 Message tl00440)

---------- Forwarded message ----------

    ***A Collection of Various Pagan Lightbulb Jokes***

* How many Gardernians does it take to change a light bulb?
  1) Sorry, that's a Third Degree secret.
  2) (In a low ominous tone) "Why do you want to know...
     initiate?"

* How many Brit Trad Wiccans does it take to change a light bulb?
  >13. One to change the bulb, and 12 to mourn the passing of
   the old bulb.

* How many Thelemites does it take to change a light bulb?
  1) 93.
  2) None - Thelemites embrace the dark as well as the light.
  3) None - real Thelemites aren't afraid of the dark.
   stare at them as you wait for them to grasp the obvious)

* How many Frost "School of Wicca" Witches does it take to change
  a light bulb?
  >"Just you!  That's right, YOU!  And for only $195 we'll send
    you our complete "Witches Magic Power of Light Bulb Changing
    Course" with real knowledge that you can apply this to ANY
    light bulb ANYwhere!  Listen to the testimony of a young
    couple from Wisconsin who..."

* How many members of IOT does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
  >Sorry, that ritual is copyrighted.

* How many Proteans does it take to change a light bulb?
  >I can't tell you--we never change a light bulb the same way
   twice! :}

* How many ADF druids does it take to change a light bulb?
  >Six.  One to change the bulb, one to write a song about how
   much better the old bulb was, and four to write conflicting
   parodies of the second Druid's song.

* How many Shamans does it take to change a light bulb?
  >None.  They just change shape into a cat or bat, and can see in
   the dark.

* How many tantrics does it take to change a light bulb?
  >2, as long as the lamp is by the bed...

* How many Ceremonial Magicians does it take to change a light
  bulb?
  1) One.  They hold it up, and the world revolves around them.
     (I know one of these; it's true!)
  2) Only one, but he has to do it on the 3rd friday of a month
     when the Moon is in Taurus and it's the fifth planetary
     hour... and it's *not* funny

* How many Druid's does it take to change a lightbulb?
  >501.  One to change the bulb and 500 to align the new stone.

* How many Family traditionalists does it take to change a light
  bulb?
  >Candle light was good enough for our ancestors, it's good
  enough for us!

* How many Astrologers does it take to change a light bulb?
  >"Don't ask me now, Mercury's retrograde!"

* How many Pagans does it take to change a lightbulb?
  >Six.  One to change it, and five to sit around complaining that
   lightbulbs never burned out before those Christians came along.

* How many Witches does it take to change a light bulb?
  >Into what?

* How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb?
  >Only one, but it takes a lot of light bulbs.

* How many Tauruses does it take to change a light bulb?
  >What, me move?

* How many Geminis does it take to change a light bulb?
  >II

* How many Cancers does it take to change a light bulb?
  >Only one, but he has to bring his mother.

* How many Leos does it take to change a light bulb?
  >A dozen.  One to change the bulb, and eleven to applaud.

* How many Virgos does it take to change a light bulb?
 >Five.  One to clean out the socket, one to dust the bulb,
   one to install, and two engineers to check the work.

* How many Libras does it take to change a light bulb?
  >Libras can't decide if the bulb needs to be changed.

* How many Scorpios does it take to change a light bulb?
  >None.  They LIKE the dark.

* How many Sagittarians does it take to change a light bulb?
  >One to install the bulb, and a Virgo to pick up the pieces.

* How many Capricorns does it take to change a light bulb?
  >The light's fine as it is.

* How many Aquarians does it take to change a light bulb?
  >Have you asked the bulb if it WANTS to be changed?

* How many Pisceans does it take to change a light bulb?
  >What light bulb?