Theos-Talk Archives (August 1995 Message tl00147)

At present I'm about two weeks away from a move involving selling
one house and buying another (barring delays). I have noticed a
weird psychological state gradually creeping up on me, identical
to similar periods in the past leading up to moves. The house
I'm now in has started to seem unreal, as my psychic
identification with it is broken down. I picture the new owner
in the house. When I look at all my furniture and possessions,
they still appear real, but sort of as if floating in ether, from
which I can imagine them in various spots of the new house. The
new house has come to seem much more psychologically real to me
that the current one.

While contemplating that these periods before and after moves
have a schizoid quality, in which my hold on reality seems to be
weakening, I realized that the situation is parallel to death and
rebirth. As one approaches death, ideally one gradually becomes
detached from the external circumstances of life, and more
identified with the core wisdom/experience that one can carry
through the transition. The furniture etc. is like the higher
principles that survive death, while the house itself is like the
lower principles that are left behind.

I never knew or corresponded with Bill Laudahn, so was all the
more appreciative of his kind, supportive letter in the current
Quest. Knowing that he wrote it two weeks before his death from
a lengthy illness added to my gratitude, especially in light of
what he had to communicate. It seemed as if he were saying,
between the lines, "I have a perception of what is truly lasting
and valuable in the Theosophical movement, and what is temporary
and dispensable." That someone in his position would be
supportive of my work more than makes up for the rejection
expressed in the other four letters.

Thank you, Bill, and bon voyage. May I be enabled to repay my
debt to you in another life.